Vancouver’s annual Celebration of Light is happening at the end of July for three separate fireworks displays as the U.K., Canada and Thailand will go head-to-head for three pyro competitions on July 27th, 31st and August 3rd respectively.
Over 400,000 attendees are expected to show up each night so, you know, it’s gonna be a friggin’ party. Plus there’s SHOREfest which will have artists like Mother Mother, Serena Ryder and others performing live and the ridiculous Red Bull Airshow with Pete McLeod.
But what’s this, Vancouver Parks? No alcohol permitted? Hah, you’re funny.
I sure as hell wouldn’t go to this thing sober and neither should you. There is The Keg Lounge but you have to buy tickets in advance to get in and it’s already sold out for the July 31st event.
The only solution is some good ol’ drinking in public and there are quite a few ways to do it without the law catching wind.
Just know that drinking in public is illegal in Vancouver and comes with a $250 fine if you get caught, so don’t be a moron, be discreet and if you do get approached by a cop don’t be a dickhead. You might even get off with a warning.
Diet Coke Wine
It worked for Frank and the gang and it can work for you too!
Yeah this is a fucking thing. Fill it, strap up, put a shirt on and you’re good to go. Because no one will notice the hose coming from under your clothes that you keep sucking on. Oh and ladies, the WineRack is your public drinking solution that will also help you land your dream guy.
McDonald’s Cup Beer
A full can of beer can fit inside of a large McDonald’s cup, eliminating any flatness that comes with physically pouring it in. Just open the can, plop it in and drink it through the straw. Boom! Works even better with ice in the cup surrounding the can to keep that shit cold.
We shit you not: The Barnoculars are an invention that would put James Bond to fucking shame. And if anyone asks why you brought binoculars to a fireworks show, just Bond-slap them.
Any Clear Liquor in a Water Bottle
Vodka, gin and whatnot just look like water so you can always funnel them into a clear bottle. If you don’t want to drink them straight, add more water for dilution.
Any Booze in a Pop Bottle
Pop will still look like pop when mixed with a little something to make it very good. Just pre-mix everything in individual bottles so you don’t have to mix at the park. Better yet, fill up a big gulp for maximum drunk!
The Pop Can Sleeve
Here’s some MacGyver shit: Cut the top and bottom off of an empty pop can then a slit down the back. It works as a sleeve to cover a beer can. The only problem is it can get a bit mangled the more you transfer it to and from more cans. Also, use with caution. That shit will slice you up if you're not careful.
The Booze Watermelon
This might be the dumbest of all ideas, but the vodka watermelon is a delicious way of getting drunk in public. Cut a hole in a watermelon, dump in a bottle of vodka, plug it back up and let it sit in the fridge for a day so the booze can spread. What you’ve got is a sliceable watermelon you can bring with you and get hammered off of.