The 9 Weirdest Spa Treatments You Never Want to Experience

The 9 Weirdest Spa Treatments You Never Want to Experience

People will go to great lengths to cling onto what's left of their youthful looks, but some of these are just fucking nasty.

And while not only do the following treatments exist, a lot of them have been endorsed by the vainest of society: Hollywood.

Here’s our rundown of the most messed up, excruciating and so-not-worth-it spa treatments the world has to offer.

Fish pedicure

Apparently Garra rufa fish love dead skin - especially dead foot skin. Just look at these little fuckers. The fishy practice has gotten so popular it's now banned in B.C. because of controversial treatment of animals. Perfectly legal in Montreal though, if you want it done.

Snake massage

If the thought of having large snakes slither across your face and body doesn’t terrify you, then you are either a witch or have balls of steel. But there’s one bat shit crazy lady who swears it works, though I'm pretty sure this is some sort of animal abuse.

Fire cupping

Cupping is pretty common, actually. It's a form of ancient medicine that uses suction to mobilize blood flow and promote healing by leaving massive circular bruises on the back. Add fiery alcohol-dipped cotton balls to the party and we’re talking good times here.

Snail slime cream

That gooey slime left in a snail’s path? Yeah, that shit is believed to be great skin cream by people who say it stimulates the formation of collagen and elastin, repairs photoaging, and minimizes the damages of free radicals.

You can buy skin care products containing snail secretion, but these folks here like to get his straight from the source:

Bloodsucking leech treatment

Getting leeches to suck the blood out of you is apparently a fun way to cleanse and detoxify the body. It has been practiced in Europe for thousands of years, and celebs including Demi Moore have endorsed it. I’ve seen Stand by Me and no thanks.

Aberdeen organic bull sperm treatment

A nice mix of bull sperm and katera root is believed to be a great hair product for conditioning and damage repair. Sounds gross, but the real victim here is the bull sperm extraction dude.

Sheep placenta facial

Also in the leave the damn farm animals alone category is this disgusting number. You can get sheep placenta injections in Switzerland where some people are convinced it helps get rid of acne and sun-damaged skin. But it doesn’t stop with the sheep. In 2008, a Beverly Hills dermatology center was using human placenta and getting the stuff shipped in from Russian maternity wards.

Bird shit facial

Nightingale droppings get props from celebs like Victoria Beckham and is said to be a great exfoliate and leave the skin with a healthy shine and is performed at places like New York’s Shizuka Spa. So the next time you get shitted on at the beach or amusement park, don’t wipe it off. You embrace that shit.

Drinking piss

There are people out there who drink their own pee believing it can help cure cancer and have other health benefits. Some people go so far as to rub it on their own faces to cure acne. While not scientifically proven to do anything at all, the so-called “Urine Therapy” is a disgustingly popular practice. So popular, in fact, that it was recently discussed on The Doctors. Check it out here.

Pete Richards
Pete Richards

If Star Wars and Van Damme had a baby, it would be me.