Nokia Patents Magnetic Tattoo to Make That 3am Pocket Dial Even More Brutal

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Nokia Patents Magnetic Tattoo to Make That 3am Pocket Dial Even More Brutal

Nokia filed a patent for probably one of the worst, dumbest ideas since the guy who got a tattoo to make his iPhone sing.

They think people of the future will be so concerned with missing a phone call, text message or email that they’ll permanently ink a “material attachable to the skin” that will be able to detect a magnetic field and send a “perceivable impulse” to the user.

In other words, the tattoo would vibrate slightly to notify you.

The patent also says that it will one day be possible to adjust the sensation based on who’s calling, just like customizing ring tones. The material used would be “ferromagnetic ink” which includes compounds such as iron or iron oxide.

Because magnets naturally lose power, you’d need to run a magnet over it once in a while to keep it fully magnetized.

Nokia seems to think the idea’s gonna be big in the future and they want to sink their claws in it before anyone else. This news comes after Nokia posted a $1-billion quarterly loss in this second quarter of 2012.

Good thing they’ve got this hidden Ace up their sleeve because, you know, who wouldn’t want to be zapped every time an obsessed ex calls, you get a drunken 3am pocket dial or Rogers calls to remind you you’re three months past due?

And if cell phone trends are any indication, this tattoo technology should be relevant for at least a year. Good investment.

Pete Richards
Pete Richards

If Star Wars and Van Damme had a baby, it would be me.