8 X-Rated Montreal Poutine Places Worthy of Food Porn Status

8 X-Rated Montreal Poutine Places Worthy of Food Porn Status

What up Quebec! Blessing Canada and the rest of the world with the fast food dish that packs over a 1, 000 calories. Literally slang for mess, Montreal poutine is a national treasure that is enjoyed as a day meal because small quantities don't exist. 

What I’m talking about is that authentic stuff. Not the imposters or amateurs that try to “improve” poutine with oxtail gravy or substitute thick-cut potatoes with waffle fries. Y’all need to sit your asses down. The below list of eight restaurants is that good, good of poutine because if there’s one thing Montreal is serious about it’s French fries, brown gravy and cheese curds thrown into a container.

Of course, this is just a small portion of restaurants in Montreal that serve poutine so make sure to view the complete listing for more options. If you feel we’ve missed a place then make sure to suggest the restaurant at the bottom of the page. And don't forget to share this post with friends that are always on the lookout for after-bar food options. 

8 X-Rated Montreal Poutine Places
  • La Banquise

    994 Rachel Street East , Montreal

    If you live in Montreal and get a hard on every time you start thinking about that hot gravy trickling down your…wow. I’m going to actually stop myself before this gets into R rated territory. Which is hard to do while discussing poutine and especially impossible when La Banquise is the subject. This 24-hour (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and drinking bender) restaurant has a number of poutines that range from hot-dog sausages, breaded chicken, sliced pogo and obviously bacon. However, nothing beats the classic – unless there’s bacon, always add bacon.

  • Poutineville (Beaubien)

    1348 Beaubien Street East , Montreal

    Create your own poutine?! Sign me the fuck up. Add every imaginable topping then remove said toppings (because LOL, no) but make sure to keep the cheese curds then finish it all off with the beef stock gravy. Poutineville is so good that it’s really hard to put into words. The classic is everything you’d want – cheese curds, mozzarella, braised beef and wine sauce or there’s the sampler with the option of crushed potatoes or sweet potato fries. But that’s not for anyone because crunchy fries always wins, no substitutes.

  • MA-Am-M Bolduc

    4351 de Lorimier Avenue , Montreal

    Cheese and gravy and French fries – it’s hard to picture a world without such a simple combination (that world is called the United States of America). The MA-Am-M Bolduc restaurant has a pretty sizable menu that at first can feel a little overwhelming but don’t let that stop you. Aside from regular there are currently 10 different combinations of poutine including chicken and curry, bacon and onions, blue cheese, and spaghetti sauce. The portions are more than reasonable especially when you’re looking to pay anywhere from $6 - $13.

  • Poutine Lafleur

    3665 Wellington Street , Montreal

    The gravy can sometimes make or break a poutine. Okay, that’s a lie. The gravy is like the brainchild of the whole operation. If it’s not rich, peppery, and thick (but not saucy enough to make the fries turn to mush) then it’s not worthy to be called a poutine. It’s as simple as that. If you venture out to Verdun then make sure to check out Poutine Lafleur. Just make sure to excuse/ignore the décor and florescent lights – didn’t anyone ever tell you not to judge a book by its cover? The value for a poutine is pretty exceptional – $5 for a large and $4 for regular size. And large is truly large.

  • Restaurant Garde-Manger

    408 Saint François Xavier Street , Montreal

    Chef and co-owner Chuck Hughes’ won the American cooking show Iron Chef and at the time of this article there are over 100 reviews for Garde-Manger on Yelp. Safe to say that this place knows what’s up – especially when it comes to producing a calorie-rich hot mess of a poutine. If you’re a longtime resident of Montreal then you already know about Garde-Manger and my recommendation is going to come across as typical. But you know what, fuck* it because the lobster poutine deserves all the praise in the world. It’s the most overrated dish on the menu for a reason.
    *Promise this is the last time I swear. I just get heated over poutine.

  • Patati Patata

    4177 Saint-Laurent Boulevard , Montreal

    You’re on a budget. You’re sad. You’re drunk. You just want carbs right now. At Patati Patata all these wants and needs are taken care of without having to spend more than $10. This is the little diner that never stops giving. Okay, so it’s small and there’s always a lineup but did you not just read what I had to say? Of course it’s always going to be crammed. You’re only paying $10 for chicken-based gravy, cheese curds and thick-cut French fries. If you’re still complaining then you want too much from life.

  • Restaurant Au Pied de Cochon

    536 Duluth Avenue East , Montreal

    Now if you’re a high-class SOB and want your poutine served on a plate (but like, why?) then waltz on over to Au Pied de Cochon. Make sure to make a reservation first though and don’t bother pulling a late night drunken drop-in. I’ve given you plenty of other options for that. The foie gras poutine is the classiest dish at Au Pied de Cochon. The thickness of the gravy is unprecedented and the portion is best enjoyed between two or more people. Unless of course, you want to be a hero and slide that bad boy down your throat alone. No shame in that.

  • Chef Guru

    4120 Saint-Laurent Boulevard , Montreal

    Being a Caribbean island child I would never in a million years leave out Chef Guru from the list. Spicy curry poutine, are you serious? Obviously I don’t advocate messing around with the three main ingredients because you’re signing up for French fries, brown gravy and cheese curds – end of story. But … curry … poutine … extra spicy. There’s nothing fancy or complex and yet, genius. What more can I possibly say? Get out there and get yourself a beautiful mess of heart stopping, carb-heavy, potato goopy poutine.

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Zoe Badley
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Zoe Badley

A writer that starts and finishes conversations alone, pretends to own a corgi, and believes in the power of Beyoncé.