7 Types of People Attending Your Super Bowl Party

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If you’re hosting a Super Bowl party this year, you better be prepared.  Of course there’s the question of what to serve for food, but you should also be aware of the types of guests your party is going to attract.

The Super Bowl is one of the most-watched television events in the whole world, year after year.  It was seen by 108.4 million Americans alone in 2013. It’s also the second-largest day when it comes to stuffing your face with food, only beaten by Thanksgiving.  So if you’re brave enough, you’ll throw down and host a Super Bowl party yourself.  It might take some effort and cost you a bit of cash, but you’ll be a hero amongst your circle of friends. 

When it comes to these types of guests, they aren’t good or bad, they’re just standard.

The Die-hard

It doesn’t even matter what team makes it to the Super Bowl, one of your friends is bound to be a die-hard football fan.  Somehow the cosmos aligned and they latched on to one of those teams like it’s their lost orphan child of thirteen years they’ve just found.  That being said, the die-hard isn’t all bad.  They bring an enthusiasm to the living room and liven up the place.  You had just better hope things go their way, or there'll be loads of yelling.  Actually, there’ll be yelling either way, best to just keep stuffing their face with food and hope they aren’t as intense as this guy.

“I’m Just Here for the Food”

Image from eatocracy.cnn.com

Speaking of food, this partygoer knows the Super Bowl is the prime time of year when it comes to gorging oneself on apps, snacks and any form of solidified greasy goodness.  A short week or two ago they didn’t know who’d be throwing the party, but they knew it’d happen.  In some way, you, the party host, are like a living saint to them.  You’re the provider and sole reason for their inclusion.  They might not care a lick for football, but they will endure whatever they must to be given free nachos, dips, wings and pizza.  If you’re really lucky they might stick around to help clean up, even if it means they’re just trying to score a few last bites.

The Gambler

Image from turnstylejunkpiled.com

Money money money.  That’s what it’s all about for this party guest.  The outcome of the game only matters if it follows their outcome.  Touchdowns, interceptions, botched plays, coaches on the field, these highlights are only appropriate if they match the ticket with an undisclosed amount of money riding on it.  You can rest assured they'll have money on things like "Length of the national anthem" and "Team to score first", but maybe they'll put coin on "Will there be a streaker?" and "Will the power go out?" If things aren’t going their way, keep an eye out.  They might start getting desperate and become willing to bet on anything, allowing you a chance to try your luck at a quick dollar.

Sudden Football Know-It-All

Image from espn.com.au

You know this person.  They also show up at the Stanley Cup game, the World Series, even during Wimbledon with their stoic words of analytic wisdom.  You don’t hear them mention sports at any other time throughout the year unless it’s commonplace news everyone knows about, like the Tiger Woods affair(s) or Lance “the Super Syringe” Armstrong.  But that doesn’t stop them from chiming in during the first play in the first quarter of the Super Bowl.  “He totally doesn’t have the arm.  He’s not as good as Marino. When they put the pressure on him, he’ll snap.” Riiight. 

“I’m Just Here for the Party”

Image from collegeview.com

More or less, this person is looking for an excuse to extend their weekly Sunday Funday.  People are partying, drinking and eating, so they’re on board.  When the game nears halftime, you’ll notice this guest is leading the party stats for both drunkenness-factor and amounts of food/liquid spilled.

Commercial Guru

This guy or gal remembers every Super Bowl commercial from the previous decade.  They’re a modern advertising pundit, ready to tell you who’s going to have the best ad this year and why.  They might enjoy football, but they’ll probably just be on their smartphone for most of the game anyway.  Whatever they have to say, few commercials are as good as the Bud Light ad from 2005.

The Fantasy Player

Image from penny-arcade.com

This person is in a league that somehow stretches into the Super Bowl and they don’t care if your favourite team is playing or not.  All that matters to them is they’ve got a wide receiver on the field and he needs to get at least 80 yards and two TDs or the season is over for him.  Expect a lot of yelling, fist shaking, phone-checking and either rejoicing or sadness.  They’re like a lesser version of the die-hard.  If you’re lucky, their interests will coincide.  If not, expect the volume level in your living room to increase. 

That's just some of the usual suspects you're bound to have turn up at your Super Bowl party.  Is there someone in your group of friends who fits one of these descriptions?  Share this list with them and let them know how integral they are to the whole Super Bowl experience.

Brent Gladney
Author
Brent Gladney

Brent Gladney is a writer and content grunt for Beforelastcall.ca.
He spends his spare time writing unfinished novels, listening to the devil's music and creating Would-You-Rather questions.

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